“The truth is I still can’t quite get over that I’m using words like ‘aging’ and ‘elder’ in the same breath as I talk about myself and my friends.”
–Brooke Shields Is Not Allowed To Get Old
Brooke Shields cannot get old, because then…well, I’d be old, too.
And so it goes, for a generation raised with her in the forefront, a Chosen One who epitomized the culture of the 80s, all of the glamour and excess we sought, the high-end designer labels, the raw beauty ,the virginal paragon, the celebrity dates, the college years, the tempestuous first marriage, the career downturn, the comeback, the maturing process into a second marriage and family and real adult responsibilities, facing loss for the first time, for the second time, and settling in to the person you were always meant to be because you finally, finally have time to think about yourself and what you want from life instead of what everyone else expects you to want from life – we’ve lived these experiences with her and through her. Theoretically, you think to yourself, “You’re not old, and there’s still time…” And yet, you see people you grew up with, people you admired, hit milestones in their lives and you realize that if they’re at a certain age, then you must be… nah, can’t be.
Brooke Shields has carried the weight of a generation, Generation X to be precise, on her shoulders for decades. She’s beautiful now, no doubt about that, but when she was young, she was stunning. That beauty defined her, made her career almost from birth – she started work at 11 months old as the Ivory Snow baby (alongside Marilyn Chambers as the mother in the ad, but that’s a celebrity you can research on your own!) My grandmother held Shields up to me as a standard to aspire to – bought me On Your Own by Brooke Shields in 1985, a tome full of collegiate advice about group dating, maintaining your virginity, health and beauty tips, and everything a young woman might need to know before living on her own for the first time. (I went off to college in 1986.) My grandmother adored her and wanted me to be like her – I had the long flowing brunette locks and the heavy, natural eyebrows and an interest in acting at the time. Brooke is only a few years older than me. Plus, I was an only child and close to my mother – I’m sure you can see the similarities. Whether my grandmother saw Pretty Baby or Blue Lagoon is a mystery, but, if so, she was wise enough to discern the person from the roles they choose (or have chosen for them), and saw the inner beauty of Brooke, the wholesomeness, the epitome of nice and kind and smart and successful. That’s what she wanted for me. At the time, as a 16-year-old girl on the verge of leaving the nest, I rolled my eyes for sure. I still have that book, though. I treasure it because it was a gift from my grandmother, and I can appreciate the hopes and dreams she harbored for me.
Back to Brooke… Her latest book, Brooke Shields Is Not Allowed To Get Old hits the mark on every point. It’s not another Hollywood tell all, although there are some celebrity stories – she is a celebrity, after all. At its heart, it’s a testament to the women of our generation and, really, women in general, who did the unthinkable and got older. Society put expectations on us, we put expectations on ourselves, and why? Beauty is a genetic spin on the roulette wheel of life, the luck of the draw, smoke and mirrors, sound and fury signifying nothing. Substance is what we earn because of the choices we make and what sustains us through the years. Beauty may fade, but who you are as a person is your choice to make. Brooke recounts how many of the choices in her life were not hers to make and shares her journey of maturing to a point where she is fully in charge of her life choices now. It took a long time, as it does for many of us, and it’s not easy to gather the courage to put aside the expectations of others. As Shields writes, not meeting those expectations can cause women to feel disappointed in themselves, perceiving themselves to be “not as valuable or exceptional as you once were and, therefore, you’re letting people down.” But you’re letting yourself down more by not putting yourself and your dreams and hopes and aspirations first.
Much like the red pill in The Matrix, aging can free your mind. Maturity has its benefits and they can be great if you embrace them. You spend so much of your youth running hither and yon to be everything to everyone but yourself. Stop it. Spend this time being everything to yourself. You deserve it. Read this book and let it inspire you! It’s insightful, it’s funny, and it’s imminently readable – plus, Shields reads the audiobook herself.
(As a side note, watch Pretty Baby: Brooke Shields (not Pretty Baby, the 1977 film…but watch that, too!) – it’s a documentary about Shields, but it uses her as the example of how young beautiful girls are treated and the culture that surrounds the objectification of girls from such a young age and contributes to the dismissive attitude towards women as they age. If you’re unfamiliar with Shields’ career or need a recap and personal insight, this is a great resource to watch prior to reading this book.)